The scarcity of Emotional Intelligence

Why is it so ?

Why is it that there are many HR folks out there (sure, there are exceptions) who least understand people? Or is such a generalisation exaggerated?

Needing to be high on Emotional Intelligence, I feel they fail on every parameter of Emotional Intelligence. Low Self Awareness characterises their being. Not being self aware automatically renders them incapable of self-regulation. Empathy is way off. Instead of being motivators, they excel in snuffing out the 'creative, curious' lights. Lack of any social skills leads to popularity levels hitting rock bottom.

Like I said, I know there are exceptions. There are people out there who are so perceptive, its scary. They have this uncanny ability to preempt and act, and therefore put the other person at ease. They are truly the 'people-people'. Take Ram Charan for example. Fortune calls him, 'not a consultant so much as a guru, a corporate sage, with unparalleled access to boardrooms across the globe and intimate, enduring relationships with an array of powerful CEOs.'

Jack Welch says of Charan, "He has this rare ability to distill meaningful from meaningless and transfer it to others in a quiet, effective way without destroying confidences".

Read about the 'Strange existence of Ram Charan' here.

Now, that's something!

Cheers.

The paradox in dishing out advice

Isn't it paradoxical that people who preach about the importance of being emotionally intelligent are themselves so emotionally numb. The other day, I was in this restaurant enjoying a meal and the book that I was reading when I heard a person sitting on the adjacent table offering his dollops of wisdom to his friend.

He was telling the other guy that he needed to be a good listener and that he must stop being judgmental. He also added that his friend needed to think twice before he spoke as this would allow him to contemplate the impact of his words.

The wise one spoke thus for some time.

But just soon as he finished, I got to witness a scene; which is why I wrote this piece. I see the ‘wise one’ yelling at the restaurant service guy who was desperately trying to explain something, but I may add, in vain. In spite of his best efforts, the wise one refused to listen. I winced at the embarrassment this guy was causing the service guy. In fact the restaurant had suddenly gone silent. It was not the best of times. My meal felt ruined.

I wonder what happened to all the advice the guy had just dished out. That got me thinking. Isn’t it ironical that the ones that preach are the ones that need to listen? Aren’t we all ultimately what we profess others not to be?

Think about it.

Cheers.